"Where are today's Apostles?"

Please pray for my cousin, George, and my uncle, Mike. They both are sick right now, and could really use your prayers. Thanks, "prayer warriors"!
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On about the second or third day of my retreat, my director had me meditate on several Scripture passages. Below are some of the things that stirred my heart and mind during those days.

1. 1 Sam3: 2-10
- Samuel hears God's Call two times while he rests, but thinks it's Eli talking to him. Eli tells him that it's Yahweh speaking to him. So, for the third time, Yahweh calls out to Samuel, and Samuel finally hears the Lord, and says, "speak, Lord, for your servant is listening".

Well, me and "Sammy" have a few things in common. The one that jumped out at me is that it took us both three times to hear and answer God's Call! As you probably know, this is my third try at seminary / priesthood - third time's a charm, right, Sammy!?

2. Rom 10:14-15
- I, like the priests and deacons in the early Church, am called to preach the Good News. Me? Who am I to teach people about the Kingdom of God? Well, all I know, is that God knows who He's called.

I am to be a messenger of the Good News. What is the Good News? Most fundamentally, that God loves us. My goal is to end each Sunday homily with a reminder of how much God loves- "please, remember this day, that God the Father, Son, and Spirit has unconditional and infinite love for you".

3. Is 6: 1-8
- my preaching will come from my worship - public and private. My worship of the Word and the Eucharist at Mass will define my preaching. My time in Adoration of the Eucharist outside of Mass will help to shape and mold my heart more to Christ's, so that I will preach and act as He wills.

4. Acts 6:1-7
- I am called to preach with great love as a man of prayer; called to be an apostle! This insight hit me pretty hard as it occurred on a feast of an Apostle, St. Andrew (Nov 30). "Where are today's Apostles?", my director asked.

I am called to have great zeal, both publicly and privately. I am called to love as Christ loves, and serve as Christ serves. Here's a paradox that hit me along the lines of service:

The more I give, the more I have to give.
The less I give, the less I have to give.

This is rooted in grace and charity. What it means is that the more that I give myself to God, I find that I actually have more energy to give (to Him and others). Zeal begets zeal; selflessness begets selflessness. On the flip side, laziness begets laziness; selfishness begets selfishness.