Christian one-liners

With all the seriousness going on with exams and world events, I thought a little humor would be fitting for this week. Here are some “Christian one-liners” which I found online. They aren’t necessarily LOL one-liners, although some are pretty good. They are probably meant to be more insightful and inspiring than hilarious. So, be inspired!


My fav is “Benefits” (actually just used that line last night here before I read it today).  What's yours?


The Boss

Under the same management for over 2000 years.


Come As You Are

You are not too bad to come in and you are not too good to stay out.


Insomnia Cure

If you can't sleep, try counting your blessings.


Yummy

Try our Sundays. They're better than Baskin-Robbin's.


Cosmetic Surgery

Come in and have your faith lifted.


Seating Arrangements

Where will you be seated in eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?


Tithing

Give God what's right -- not what's left.


Which Way?

Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.


Two Ears

Since God gave us two ears and one mouth, He must have wanted us to do twice as much listening as talking.

Anger

The person who angers you, controls you!


Grading

God doesn't grade on the curve, He grades on the cross.


Flying

If God is your Copilot - you're in the wrong seat!


Unconditional Love

Yes, God loves us all, but He favors "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"


The Message

Our job isn't to change the message. Our job is to let the message change us.


Promises

God didn't promise a calm passage. He promised a safe landing.


Praying

When you pray, don't give God instructions. Just report for duty!


Forbidden Fruit

A forbidden fruit will create many jams.


Greatness

You can tell how great a person is by what it takes to discourage him.


God's Will

The will of God will not take you to where the grace of God will not protect you.


Best Formula

1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.


Problems

The problem ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.


Peace

Peace starts with a smile.


Benefits

Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world.